200483368-001Since exercise is a big part of my life I spend lots of time in the gym. One of the things that fuel my workout is listening to high energy music on my mp3 player.  There’s nothing like a driving beat to get the body moving. Many of the other folks at the gym have mp3 players too, and it’s easy to see, by the tilt of a head or the tap of a foot when they’re being propelled by the rhythm. Most people keep their dance moves to a minimum, but there was one guy a few months ago who just “went for it”. My husband and I nicknamed him “Dancing Bear” because when he got onto the treadmill he threw down dance moves that would make even John Travolta jealous! Now I’ll admit, I’ve been known to “bust a move” from time to time too, but never quite like him. He enjoyed music and movement and didn’t care who knew it. He reacted according to what he heard; the music that was playing in his ears. 

 

As a student of human nature I’ve always been interested in interpersonal communication. It can be one of the biggest challenges that we face in our relationships with other people. How often do you look at someone and think, “Why in the world did he do that?” or “What was she thinking?” I believe that people are like Dancing Bear; they act or react according to what they hear – what’s playing in their ears.

 

Modern technology has birthed some amazing inventions in recent years; one of which is the Bluetooth headset. When they first came onto the scene, it took me a little while to adjust to seeing people use them. Since I couldn’t always see the earpiece, it looked like they were walking around talking to themselves; or the sky. That struck me as odd because when I was a little girl, people who did that were considered “different.” The reality is that they were reacting to what they heard on the other end of the phone.

 

I believe that people’s reactions in life are based on what they “hear.” Sometimes it’s what they are currently hearing, at other times they’re still hearing voices from their past.

 

Maybe they are hearing the voice of a negative parent who told them they’d never amount to anything; so they struggle with low self-esteem. Or maybe they’re hearing an affirming parent who built them up and that propels them be successful.

 

Perhaps it’s a teacher who singled them out for being a slower learner than some of the other students in the class; so they give up and stop trying. Another teacher who is more in tune with their learning style could help them achieve academic success.

 

Sometimes they’re hearing negative self-talk because of low self-esteem.  This can happen to young ladies as their self-image is developing who try to emulate the body types they see in magazines or in videos. If they don’t feel that they measure up, some develop life-threatening eating disorders.

 

When trying to communicate and relate to others, trying to “hear what they hear” can give a better idea of why they act the way they do. However, even when you do that you may not fully understand their reactions. Two people may hear the same song, but dance to it quite differently. Two siblings may have been raised in the same household with the same family values; one may go on to be very successful while the other may do just the opposite.

 

In a ballroom dance competition the couples must be able to execute several dance styles; waltz, tango, foxtrot, quickstep, cha-cha, rumba; the list goes on. Each style is quite different and is accompanied by different styles of music. So they dance according to what they hear.

 

In our quest to relate to other people we’ve got to remember that they are “dancing to the music that they hear” –  and so are we.