“Communication starts with intention – as your intentions will be felt long before your message is heard.” – Doug firebaugh
Communication is the way we connect with other human beings. It has been defined as the act or instance of sending a message. We do it in many ways, including speaking, gestures, body language, letters, emails and even text messages. Much of our communication is non-verbal.
In this information age we are constantly bombarded by messages. So we hear a lot and we talk a lot, but how often do we actually communicate?
As a writer and speaker I work hard at articulating thoughts and ideas very clearly. So I find it ironic that some of my clearest conversations have happened without actually using words.
In 1984 I traveled with a group to Guyaquil, Ecuador to compete in an international choir competition. What a rich experience! The other festival participants spoke only Spanish and I had lots of fun trying out my textbook Spanish. They were most gracious and frequently amused by my attempts to communicate with them. I made one friend, Gladys, who I was especially drawn to because she looked like me. You see, Gladys was also of African descent, and although we looked alike, we spoke different languages. We hung out all week and somehow managed to communicate.
I had a similar experience a few years ago when my family and I took a Mediterranean cruise. One of the ports we visited was Dubrovnik, Croatia. The old city is perched on the edge of the Adriatic Sea. The clear waters of the Dalmatian coast are considered some of the most beautiful in the world. As we strolled along the harbor we met a fisherman who offered to take us out on his boat. Although he spoke very little English and we did not speak his language at all, he gave us a delightful tour where we learned about the surrounding area, the local resorts and even his favorite boyhood fishing spots. Somehow with a few words, nods, gestures and smiles we managed to communicate.
Communication is not always verbal. The locker room attendant at my health club is hearing impaired and cannot speak. But we’ve managed to “chat” about everything from her new haircut to locker room remodeling. Somehow we manage to communicate.
My mother was a master of non-verbal communication. One look from her could speak volumes. When I was quite young our family attended a church where there was no children’s church service. So after Sunday school everyone filed into the main sanctuary. The service was not particularly relevant to small children so our primary job was to be still and quiet. For a while I entertained myself by coloring in the “O’s” in my little Bible. I made it all the way through Genesis before Mama stopped me. When I got older I was allowed to sit with my friends in the back. From time to time we got a little wiggly and giggly. But one look from Mama was enough to settle me down. That glance had so many possible meanings; everything from “I know that wasn’t you” to “Don’t make me come back there.” Oh, yes, Mom managed to communicate.
Communication can be one of the most rewarding aspects of life or one of the most frustrating but we must always continue to try. One sage wrote, “Communication is the oil that lubricates the frictions of life.” Another wrote
“I know you believe you heard what you though I said, but is what you heard what I really meant?”
In the end we communicate what is in our hearts. In the book of Matthew Jesus taught, “ For whatever is in your heart determines what you say” (Matthew 12:34).
Being a good communicator requires taking risks and that can be scary. However I have found that it is well worth the effort.
Proverbs 25:11 says “The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver.”
Have a great week of talking, listening and communicating.
