“As long as he needs me, I know where I must be

I’ll hang on steadfastly, as long as he needs me”

These are the opening lyrics of a love song from the Broadway Musical “Oliver”. Although the character is singing about her lover, I’d like to give the song a slightly different spin. Imagine it being sung by a mother to her son. The first time I looked into my newborn son’s eyes I realized how very dependent he was on me. He needed me and from that very moment I’ve always been there for him; providing everything from mother’s milk to midnight math tutoring sessions to moral support.  And I have loved the journey. It has been a constantly changing journey because as he has grown, his needs have changed. First he was a hungry newborn who wanted to nurse every 2 hours. I remember very clearly the day, a few months later, when he decided that he really preferred the bottle. I thought sadly, “He doesn’t need me”. But of course he still did.

Then there was the day that my husband and I dropped him off at his first day of kindergarten. After a quick kiss goodbye he scampered off to his classroom eager to embrace his new world. Although I was glad that he was adjusting so well, part of me thought sadly, “He doesn’t need me”. But of course he still did.

Then there was prom night when he and his friends and their dates climbed into the limousine and sped off into the night, leaving us parents standing on the sidewalk clutching our cameras and talking about how quickly they’d all grown up. Once more I felt a little sad and thought, “He doesn’t need me”. But of course he still did. He needed us to pay for the limo the tux and his date’s corsage.

Finally the day came when we dropped him off at his college dorm. We were excited about him entering into this new season of his life. We had been planning for months; from SAT tests to visiting college campuses during his senior year in high school. It had been a whirlwind of activity for all of us.  Helping him shop for his dorm room had been lots of fun. We arrived on campus along with the other parents, incoming freshmen and all of their stuff. We got him settled into his room, met his roommate and before we knew it, it was time to say goodbye. I had been so excited about him going off to college that I hadn’t given much thought to how “leaving my baby” would affect me. After a quick kiss goodbye he sauntered off to his dorm room. And once again I thought, “He doesn’t need me”. But of course he still did. He needed us to pay for tuition, books, dorm fees and a quite a few unexpected parking tickets.

As children grow up they are constantly changing; and so are their needs. Thankfully God equips parents to meet those ever-changing needs. He gives us strength to run along behind them to steady the bicycle as they learn to balance. He gives us nerves of steel as we teach them to drive our car. He gives us enough self control to listen calmly as they tell us they accidently wrecked our car.

Now that my son is in his 20’s his needs are those of a young adult who is learning to navigate in an adult world. I enjoy being his mother and his friend. We have some great chats over coffee or lunch – especially when I’m paying.

The last line of the song is,  “I’m going to stay true just as long as he needs me”.

It’s nice to know that he always will.