I can bring home the bacon,
Fry it up in a pan,
And never, never, never let you forget you’re a man,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Double U O M A N
I can wash out forty-four pairs of socks
And have them hangin’ out on the line
I can starch and iron two dozen shirts
Before you can count from one to nine
I can scoop up a great big dipper
Full of lard from the drippin’s can
Throw it in the skillet, go out and do my
Shopping and be back before it melts in the pan
‘Cause I’m a woman
Double U O M A N”
These lyrics are from the 1963 Peggy Lee song “I’m a Woman” that was also used in a perfume commercial in the 1970’s. The song pays tribute to the myriad of tasks that women perform every day. Although these specific tasks may not be relevant to 2010 (I don’t have a drippin’ can full of lard), the fact still remains we ladies have LOTS to do each day. It seems like the list continues to grow and grow. Multi-tasking has become a way of life. Modern technology allows us to cook, clean, wash, iron and home school the kids at the same time. It allows us to participate in an international teleconference and check emails while getting a manicure. Oh yes, we can do it all! As Chaka and Whitney sang “I’m every woman.”
Lately I’ve begun to wonder if being “every woman” is really a goal I want to strive for. It may be convenient, but is it always necessary? Multi-tasking is the order of the day and we’re always under pressure to do MORE. But is the quality of our lives and relationships really that much better than that of our mothers and grandmothers?
According to the Daily Mail, studies show that multitasking or switching back and forth between tasks not only reduces efficiency levels, but can have lasting neurological, physical and social effects as well.
The 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs gives a detailed description of someone who can only be described as a superwoman. She is energetic, strong, runs a household with servants, is an astute business woman who imports goods, buys real estate, gets up before dawn and works late into the night, makes her family’s clothes, feeds the poor, is a fashionista – and all of this without a PDA. What a girl!
As impressive as this lady is, I still have to be honest and realistic about what I can do and when I can do it. I believe that life is divided into seasons. Ecclesiastes 3:1 states, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven”. So although I may have many gifts and talents, I don’t have to use them all at the same time. Throughout my life God has orchestrated every season, and I’ve learned to trust His timing.
So with all due respect to Chaka and Whitney, I’m not trying to be every woman. I’m just striving to be the best possible version of ME.
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In a few months we’ll be celebrating the Christmas season. How time flies! Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that we packed up last year’s decorations? The season seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Believe it or not, I actually saw some Christmas decorations for sale last week – in August! The commercialization of Christmas has really gotten out of hand. That goes for many of the other holidays as well.
Should we really allow Madison Avenue and the advertising industry to drive our holiday celebrations? I don’t think so. I believe that we should take an honest look at the true meaning of each holiday and let that guide our method of celebration. Each of our methods may differ, depending on how we feel about the holiday, family traditions, and other factors. I would just like to get back to genuine celebrations that do not necessarily revolve around trips to the shopping mall and incurring mountains of debt. So many of our celebrations are not genuine; or only apply to one day.
During the Christmas season we sing about tidings of comfort and joy for a few weeks, then what? By January 1st all bets are off.
We say “peace on Earth, good will toward men” for a few weeks, and then it’s back to “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine”.
We have charity drives to give people “One Warm Coat” – only one? How about giving them some gloves and hats and scarves too?
We donate food for a huge holiday dinner; turkey, stuffing, apple pie, etc. and pat ourselves on the back because we’ve fed a family. Well guess what? Although that dinner will be delicious that day, and maybe for a few days after that, the family will be hungry again one week later, and the week after that and the week after that.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t give during the holidays. I’d just like us to be honest about our motives and commitment to helping those in need all year long.
In John 10:10 Jesus said, “I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest.” I am determined to live life to the fullest. And celebrate all year long. I want to live my life with a perpetual attitude of gratitude and giving. I’ll celebrate every holiday every day:
- Mother’s Day – because I love being a mother and in memory of my Mom
- Father’s Day – for my husband who is a great father and in memory of my Dad
- My birthday – because I’m glad I was born
- Back to school – because I don’t have to go back
- Thanksgiving – because I’m always thankful
You get the idea, there’s always a reason to celebrate. I can just hear Kool & the Gang singing “Celebrate good times, come on!” Find a reason to celebrate every day. What are you celebrating today?
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I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear;
And the best of all preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.
I soon can learn to do it if you’ll let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I’d rather get my lessons by observing what you do;
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there’s no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.
This poem by Edgar A. Guest communicates a powerful message. We are constantly surrounded with and bombarded by spoken messages. Commercials fill the airwaves, trying to sell products, ideas and viewpoints. People can become so overwhelmed that they just tune out when they hear a sales pitch. They need to see a product in action before they’ll consider buying it.
The same is true when it comes to sharing our faith. Some folks have heard the gospel many times, but have not embraced it because of what they have seen – or not seen in the lives of those who profess to be believers.
People hear much more from what you do than what you say. Talk is cheap. I can say that I’m anything:
I can say that I’m a tree, but until I take root and grow branches…
I can say that I’m a bird, but until I sprout wings and take flight…
I can say that I’m a chicken, but until I lay an egg…
You get the idea; the actions need to line up with what is being said. If we profess to follow a loving God, and to be His examples in the Earth, but go on to exhibit hatred, bigotry or division, the actions don’t line up with the words.
What is the best way to exhibit our faith? It has little to do with what we say, and everything to do with what we do. Others will know that we are His disciples by the way we treat others. Jesus said, “This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other” (John 13:35).
Just live it!
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In the 10th chapter of Luke, there is a story about two sisters, Mary and Martha, who lived in the village of Bethany with their brother Lazarus. In the account Jesus and some of his disciples stopped by their home for a visit. A passage in the 11th chapter of John indicates that they were good friends of Jesus, so perhaps he visited them frequently. During this visit Martha rushed around making preparations to serve her guests while Mary simply sat down to hear what Jesus had to say. When she complained to Jesus that Mary left her to do all of the work Jesus said, “Martha, Martha you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better” (Luke 10:41).
Through the years psychologists have studied personality types and there are many theories on the subject. This story is an interesting study in personality differences. Martha could be classified as a Type A personality; achievement-oriented and sometimes impatient. Mary could be classified as a Type B; more easy-going and relaxed.
Is one type better than the other? Who’s to say? If you took a poll the answers would be all over the board – depending on which type your were talking to. Type A’s would probably contend that without their organizational expertise and managerial abilities, nothing of substance would ever be accomplished. Type B’s would contend that without their ability to be “in the moment”, to stop and smell the roses, the world would be devoid of art and creativity. Type A’s would pat themselves on the back for designing and manufacturing the spacecraft that are launched into outer space. Type B’s would have a full appreciation for the miracle of creation that crafted out space. Both are needed to provide balance to our world. The fact is, most of us are a combination of the two personality types but some people tilt more heavily to one type or the other. I will admit that on a scale from A to B, I am very much an A.
So if Jesus were going to drop my house for dinner, I would be all the way “Martha.” As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I would have been a wreck! Trying to make sure that the house was immaculate, decide on the perfect menu, polishing the silver, pulling out the good china…. well you get the idea. It would take days of preparation. However, since there were not telephones, Jesus couldn’t call ahead to say he was coming. From New Testament accounts, it appears that he lived a pretty “free-wheeling” lifestyle. So it’s possible that he and his disciples just dropped in. Talk about stress!!!
We Type A’s have the ability to stress ourselves and everyone around us. So many “what if’s” to consider:
What if I don’t cook enough food?
What if I forgot to clean under the couch and Jesus sees dust bunnies?
What if I have a bad hair day?
What kind of wine should I serve? If I run out, should I ask Jesus to make some more, like he did at the wedding in Cana?
What about entertainment? How do you make small talk with the Son of God?
What if some of the gossipy neighbors stop Jesus outside and start grilling him about the virgin birth?
Oh yes, Type A’s can really spin. And although I’m not proud of it, I could even see myself making a sarcastic remark about Mary who had left me to do “all of the work.” In the account Jesus told her, “Martha, Martha you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed…” I like to think of Jesus as speaking contemporary English, so I think he would have said something like, “Girl, sit down and chill out. You’re trying to do WAY too much….”
Whichever personality type you are, it’s important to appreciate it, since God specifically designed you that way. It’s also important to allow others to be who they are, since God specifically designed them that way. Too often we put pressure on others to act like us, dress like us, think like us, even worship like us.
Honey, you’ve just gotta “do you.” But just out of curiosity, what would you do if Jesus were coming to your house?
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“Good grief” is a phrase often used by the Charles Schulz cartoon character, Charlie Brown. When I think of grief, several adjectives come to mind – numbing, overwhelming, debilitating – but ‘good’ is not one of them. For those of us who have walked through seasons of grief, ‘good grief’ is an oxymoron and it is difficult to find anything good about it.
What is grief? Grief is a natural part of life, the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you. It is a typical reaction to death, divorce, loss of health or a move away from friends and family. We grieve the loss of lives, jobs, relationships….. even our youth.
How does grief feel? Grieving is a very individual process since each person responds differently. Feelings vary widely and can include hurt, anger, denial, even abandonment.
How long does it last? It lasts as long as it lasts. The grieving process can take anywhere from a few months to a few years.
As one who has walked through the grieving process several times I would like to share a few thoughts from my experiences.
- Go through the process. Psalm 23:4 says “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” You have to go through the valley and let the grieving process follow its natural course. As people of faith we often try to be “super saints” or “strong soldiers.” However, acknowledging hurt does not indicate a lack of faith. As a matter of fact, suppressing hurt can actually delay emotional healing.
- Grief is mind-boggling. There is a time of vacillation between denial and acceptance. It can be a real struggle to wrap one’s mind around the reality of the loss.
- During the grieving process memories can come flooding back at the most unexpected times. After the initial loss, every waking thought is focused on the pain. Then gradually, you adjust to the “new normal.” However, like in the song “Always Something There to Remind Me”, an aroma, a movie or even a song can bring back memories. I lost my father during the month of July. After months of grieving, I was doing pretty well. However, when I saw Father’s Day cards in the store the next June, I was reminded that for the first time in my life, had no reason to purchase one. That was a difficult moment.
How do you comfort someone who is grieving? There is no magic formula, just be sensitive. Here are a few suggestions:
- Just be there. You don’t have to counsel, comfort, admonish or cajole – just your presence is often enough to provide support.
- Don’t offer platitudes (trite or obvious remarks). Phrases like “at least he’s in a better place” or at least she’s not suffering” may be true, but may not be helpful during times of loss. As people of faith we believe that “All things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28), but quoting that scripture at a graveside, or right after someone has been fired from a job may not be helpful. Timing is everything.
- Don’t ask a grieving person “How are you doing?” Although we often greet each other with this phrase, it is not easy for a person in the throes of mind-numbing grief to formulate an answer.
- Just do it! Well-meaning friends often say things like “Let me know if you need anything” or ask, “Is there anything I can do for you?” It can be difficult for a grieving person to articulate those needs. After the death of my father we really appreciated the friends who just showed up and met needs, without being asked. Some brought food; others brought beverages to serve to those who came to visit. One lady even brought toilet paper (with dozens of people dropping by each day, this was a very practical need). Another family ran a shuttle service, picking up relatives who were arriving at the airport.
- Remember, that people around you may be grieving. These are very challenging times and people around us are experiencing many different kinds of loss. So when someone drives too slowly, or gets in your way at the store, cut them a little slack. Perhaps they just lost a job, or a spouse just walked out, maybe it’s a foreclosure and they are facing homelessness; maybe they received a terminal diagnosis or lost a loved one in the war. Grief is all around us.
When I think about difficult times I am reminded a song from the musical “Annie” that says “The sun’ll come out tomorrow….it’s only a day away.” As a survivor of several seasons of grief I can assure you of one thing – it does end.
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“Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line? If we had the chance to do it all again tell me, would we, could we?”
These lyrics are from “The Way We Were,” a song that Barbra Streisand recorded in 1973. The song reflects on days gone by. It seems the longer we live, the more we tend to look back on experiences from our past. Some memories are nostalgic, while others are just plain fun.
Here are a few phrases that .we don’t hear anymore:
“Fill ‘er up” – This was the instruction that you gave to the gas station attendant who came out to pump your gas. Remember full service gas stations?
“Rewind that tape” – This could refer to audio or video tapes.
“Operator, I’d like the number for…..” – Sometimes called “Information” or later “Directory Assistance”, there was a live person that you could call to get telephone numbers. Imagine that!
“Penny candy” – This one is pretty self explanatory, but still amazing
“Put the bottles out on the porch” – Milk actually came in glass bottles and was delivered by the milkman
“Pay the paperboy” – The newspaper was delivered daily by a boy, usually someone in the neighborhood, who came by weekly to collect money for the newspapers he’d delivered.
“Can I borrow a dime for the pay phone?” – Do pay telephones still exist? If so, they cost more than a dime.
“Change the typewriter ribbon” – I learned to type on a manual typewriter that required inked fabric ribbons to deliver the characters to the paper. It also required manual carriage returns at the end of each line. Typing was a serious contact sport.
“Do you have any carbon paper?” – Carbon paper was coated on one side with a layer of a loosely bound dry ink or pigmented coating, that was used for making one or more copies simultaneous with the creation of an original document. If you made even one mistake on the original, you had to correct all of the copies, or just start over. Thank God for copy machines!
“Here comes the ice cream man!” – All of the children in the neighborhood were familiar with the playful melody that came from the truck filled with sweet, frozen treats. Life was simpler then….
“So it’s the laughter we will remember, whenever we remember the way we were.”
These are the ending lyrics from “The Way We Were.” Although we shouldn’t live in the past, those memories and experiences make up the fabric of who we are today. So from time to time it’s nice to look back and remember.
What are some of your favorite memories?
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“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.”
In this fourth verse of Psalm 23 David talks about going through a valley. All us of have lived through difficult times; they are an unavoidable reality of life. Although we’d much rather go over, under or around them, sometimes the only way is through.
I was reminded of this fact by an experience that I had on an airplane as I flew from Charlotte, North Carolina to San Francisco, California. As an avid traveler, I always enjoy the energy and excitement of a busy airport; especially the people watching. It is fascinating to know that within that swirling kaleidoscope of humanity each person has a different destination and a different story to tell. When I arrived at the departure gate I could see that my fellow travelers had begun to arrive – businessmen, couples, singles, students – all headed to the City by the Bay. As I waited I noticed a family; a father, mother and son who appeared to be 10 or 11 years old. I surmised by the way that he held onto his mother’s arm that he was probably a special needs child. Before long we boarded the plane and were airborne.
The first few hours of the flight were uneventful. However, that changed about three hours into the flight when we heard a curious noise coming from the back of the plane. It began as moaning then progressed to howling and eventually screaming. As we struggled to figure out what it was, I remembered the family with the special child. Sure enough, he’d become disoriented and was expressing his displeasure at being confined in such a small space. No doubt it was quite overwhelming for him. They were seated only a few rows behind me, so I could hear the parents trying to comfort and soothe him. They even took turns walking him up and down the aisle; all to no avail. He continued to express his displeasure and since he was a big boy, he was quite loud. The passengers and flight crew tried to be understanding, but it really was quite unnerving. Two hours of high-pitched screaming can test even the most patient of people.
My heart went out to the parents who were obviously mortified by causing such a commotion. They were completely worn out. Although it was a temporary discomfort to the rest of the passengers, they had the ongoing responsibility for caring for their son. I was reminded of how much parents of special needs children need our patience and our prayers.
Needless to say, all of our nerves were quite frayed when we reached SFO.
This is an example of an experience that we all had to go THROUGH. There was no escape, no easy way out. We couldn’t tell the pilot to fly faster, or ask the family to step into the next room – we just had to endure.
There are times in our lives when we have to endure; sometimes hours, weeks, months or even years. It is during those times when we become even more aware of God’s presence. He promised to be close beside us. He will sustain us and give us strength to get to the other side of the valley. So when you’re going through a valley – KEEP GOING!
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“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength.” (NLT)These familiar words begin Psalm 23, a Psalm attributed to King David that contrasts God’s loving care for His children with the way a shepherd loves and cares for his sheep. He makes sure that they are fed, rested and protected. Sheep are gentle and harmless creatures, so the shepherd guides them toward lush pastures. They are easily startled so he tries to keep them in peaceful settings. They spend about fifteen percent of their time sleeping, but may lie down and rest at other times. If they become stressed or agitated, the shepherd encourages them to lie down and rest.
The behavior of sheep is often compared to the behavior of human beings. Like sheep, we don’t always allow ourselves enough time to lie down and rest. Our busy, high-stress lifestyle keeps us going….and going….and going.
I experienced the wonderful benefits of stopping to rest when I spent a day at my favorite spa recently. I didn’t even bother to book a treatment, I just spent time doing absolutely nothing, enjoying the environment. It was a total feast for the senses, from the soft neutral tones of the décor to the herbal aromas and meditative music playing softly in the background and of course the sensation of being swaddled in a warm robe, fresh from the robe sauna. I was somewhere between the Roman baths and the mineral pools when I began to think about Psalm 23. As a busy wife, mother, pastor and author much of my life is in perpetual motion. So it’s easy to bypass the benefits of doing absolutely nothing. Although there have been times when God has “made me lie down,” I am learning to take time out to “rest in green meadows’. This was one of those times. As I relaxed on the heated thermal stone chaise lounge, I continued to think… about nothing. I let my mind drift as I compared the soft colors in the room. Do you know the difference between beige, eggshell, ivory and ecru? Neither do I, and it didn’t really matter. I was just drifting.
During this time of total relaxation I realized that I was being renewed – from the inside out! My stillness made me more aware of God’s never-ending supply. He will always supply my needs according to His riches, which are quite substantial! I was reminded that He is my shepherd and I will always have all that I need. ]]>
Do you recognize the names Joey Chestnut, Takeru Kobayashi, or Patrick Bertoletti? Although they may not be featured on magazine covers or network TV programs, they are celebrities. They are the world’s top competitive eating stars and are all Major League Eaters.Major League Eating is the world body that oversees all professional eating contests. It is governed by the International Federation of Competitive Eating and helps to develop, publicize and execute world-class eating events. MLE conducts approximately 80 events annually throughout the U.S. Participants in these contests devour unbelievable amounts of food. One world-class eater managed to finish a 24” pizza in 15 minutes. Another “inhaled” 34.75 Beef Brisket BBQ sandwiches in 10 minutes and another ingested a 22-ounce Slurpee in 9 seconds. Wow!
In a world where there is so much starvation, the fact that Americans consider these gluttonous events entertainment probably does not speak well of our country – but that’s a discussion for another blog.
The fact is, gluttony is rampant. Over-indulgence can lead to health problems like acid reflux, digestive distress or obesity. Eating food is necessary for our survival. The key is to eat in moderation and ingest only what our bodies can comfortably handle.
Gluttony is also rampant among Christians but it goes beyond food. I’m referring to the practice of “overeating” when it comes to Biblical truths; trying to take in too much knowledge at one time. Studying God’s Word is necessary for our survival. The key is moderation and ingesting only what we can learn and actually apply to our lives.
Wanting to know as much as possible about God and His Word is commendable. It is what we feed on and how we grow spiritually. However, the truth is that we can only “digest” small amounts.
I have been blessed to attend many conferences where the speakers were excellent Bible teachers and expositors. At these conferences there are normally morning, afternoon and evening sessions, complete with wonderful praise and worship services. It is a veritable spiritual buffet! It feels great, but the truth is it is difficult to retain all of the information. At one conference I was so “full” after the morning session that I really needed to get alone and meditate on what I had heard. But I continued to gorge myself that day and for the rest of the conference. So although it felt great, I’m not sure what I actually took away that made a life-changing difference. Of course all of these conferences offer books, tapes, CD’s & DVD’s so that attendees can take the messages home with them. But even those have to be studied in small doses in order to make life-changing differences.
It is possible to stand under a waterfall, get soaking wet, and still be thirsty. The key is to open your mouth and take a little water in. Obviously you won’t be able to swallow the whole waterfall, but the amount that your mouth can hold will be enough to quench your thirst.
You’ve heard the old adage, “Don’t’ bite of more than you can chew”. This holds true in spiritual matters as well. Jesus prayed “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). Focus on what you can take in today that will make a difference in your life. You see it’s not what goes in, but what comes out that counts. ]]>
I didn’t learn to swim until I was a freshman in high school. Admittedly that sounds a bit odd since even babies and toddlers are taught to swim. But for me it was a cosmetic issue. When I was a little girl my mother spent an hour each week straightening and curling my hair. So getting it wet would not have been a wise decision. As I recall, my sister and I were the only little girls on our block that had to wear swim caps while playing in the sprinklers. Yes, it was that serious in the 60’s.When I got to high school, swimming was mandatory so I had to take the plunge. While everyone else was swimming laps back and forth across the pool, I was in the shallow end receiving “special attention”. The first thing I had to learn was how to relax and float. Imagine my delight when I stretched out and found that the water really would hold me up. I was a world-class floater in no time. After that it was on to the business of kicking, stroking and breathing and finally I could swim!
I was reflecting on that experience recently when I realized how much floating is like faith. In order to learn to swim I had to trust that the water would hold me up. Having faith in God requires that we relax and trust Him. Our relationship with Him is built on trust.
The Bible is full of scriptures about faith. Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see” (CEV). The sixth verse of the same chapter says “But without faith no one can please God. We must believe that God is real and that he rewards everyone who searches for him.”
Having faith and keeping it is not easy. Having blind faith is contrary to our human nature. Trusting seems too passive – we want to do something.
When Moses and the Israelites stood at the Red Sea with the Egyptians hot on their heels, their faith was really tested. I doubt that standing still was the first thing that came to mind. But Moses told them to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. And it worked!
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know (recognize and understand) that I am God” (AMP). In order to trust Him, we must know Him. Once we become acquainted with His loving nature it becomes easier to trust Him with every detail of our lives.
Learning to swim was a one-time activity. Walking and growing in faith is different. It is a life-long endeavor, something to be cultivated daily.
In learning to swim I found that floating was a positional matter. I couldn’t just walk out onto the water and expect it to hold me up. I had to lie prone in the water in order to succeed. I have found that having faith is also positional. In order to trust, one must be still, relax. No doubt you’ve heard the cliché’, “let go and let God.” The phrase may be overused, but it really does work. So my advice to you this week is: just float baby, just float!
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