Spinning classes take place in a fitness studio on stationary bicycles. They are vigorous workouts set to high-energy music where the instructor guides the class through varying levels of exertion. To spinning enthusiasts it is a great workout. To me it’s just a bunch of sweaty people in a little room going absolutely nowhere. Obviously I’m not a fan. It’s not that I mind exertion, but I prefer to move – to go somewhere when I exert. So I would rather jog or powerwalk or ride a bicycle outdoors so that I can see my progress.

For me – and people like me, trusting God and walking by faith can be as challenging as one of those spinning classes. We love the challenge and the adrenalin rush of exertion, but want to be able to track our progress and arrive at our chosen destination.  However, I have learned that God works differently- His ways are definitely nor our ways. As a firm believer that faith without works is dead, I’m a doer. So there have been times in my life when I’ve peddled furiously, expecting to arrive at a particular outcome, only to have circumstances turn out quite differently; or not change at all. At other times when I thought I should be moving, God has directed me to be still…and just let Him be God. And to my surprise – and delight – He has always worked things out, often far better than I even expected; exceedingly, abundantly better. So I’m trying to work at being still; to practice a lifestyle of stillness – which is really tough for a “worker-bee” like me. But it really is the best way. So even though I still pedal my little bike, I’ve learned to place it on the back of God’s truck and let Him drive. After all, He knows the way…..

These lyrics are from “Over the Rainbow”, one of many delightful songs from the movie “The Wizard of Oz”. In the song Dorothy sings of a magical land where “dreams really do come true.”  Childhood is a time of vivid imagination when it is easy to believe that dreams can become reality. Santa Claus, Candyland and chocolate factories can seem quite real. As we move into adulthood we realize that they were just childhood imaginations. But even as adults we continue to have wishes, hopes and dreams. Those dreams provide hope and propel us toward great accomplishments. They can also be a source of frustration as long as they remain unfulfilled. Things that seem so easy for some people are like an impossible dream for others.

With so many human beings on the planet, the things they hope for can vary widely. If you asked 25 different people what their dreams were, you could get as many different answers. However, some of their dreams would be similar – good job, a nice home, healthy children. Having children can be one of life’s greatest joys. There is nothing quite like the feeling of seeing your baby’s first smile, or watching him take his first steps. While many people have experienced these joys, for others parenting seems like an impossible dream. These are people who struggle with the challenge of infertility, the biological inability of a person to contribute to conception.

The problem is more prevalent than you might think.  There are approximately 7.3 million women in this country alone between the ages of 15 and 44 who have an impaired ability to have children. I read a recent newspaper article that told the story of a couple who have been trying to have a family for 11 years. The wife had visited six OBGYNs, had three miscarriages, had a fallopian tube surgery and spent more than $7000.

Infertility has the potential for having profound psychological effects on both men and women. Partners can become more anxious to conceive which can lead to relational discord. Women trying to conceive often have clinical depression. Emotional stress and marital difficulties are greater in couples where the infertility lies with the man. Up to 20% of infertile couples in the Unites States have unexplained infertility.

Medical science has made great strides in the treatment of infertility and offers various treatment options including fertility medication, in vitro fertilization (IVF) and other forms of assisted reproductive technology (ART). Some women even engage in medical tourism; traveling to other countries to seek fertility treatments.

These treatments can be quite costly, so women without significant financial means cannot even consider seeking treatment.

The psychological ramifications can be severe. Even though the cause of infertility may be physical, and out of her control, the woman often feels like she has failed. And month after month when conception does not occur, that sense of failure increases. It seems that everywhere she goes – to the market, to the mall, to church – she is surrounded by pregnant women, babies, and even teenage mothers. If she could rewrite Dorothy’s song, it might end like this:

“If all these ladies walking by can have a baby why, oh why can’t I”?

Infertility can also refer to a woman who is unable to carry a pregnancy to full term. Miscarriage has been defined as the spontaneous end of a pregnancy at a stage where the embryo or fetus is incapable of surviving. As one who experienced several miscarriages I know firsthand the excruciating disappointment that comes with this tragic experience. Often the woman or couple has to suffer the loss alone, since possibly no one knew that she was pregnant anyway. While a doctor can dismiss it as an imperfect embryo, the woman knows that it was much more – it was the loss of her baby. And she has to walk through the stages of grief: shock, pain, anger, working through and eventually and hope. But she is always plagued by the question, “Why?”

Unfortunately her doctor doesn’t always have an answer to that question. As a woman of faith she turns to God, who doesn’t always give her the answer she’s looking for. Sometimes His answer is “yes”, sometimes it’s “no”, and at other times it’s simply “wait”. I am thankful that after a time of waiting, I was blessed with a strong, healthy baby boy. But I’ve never forgotten the difficulty of the experience.

If you have children, be thankful. I know that sometimes that’s difficult when you’re dealing with dirty diapers and sassy teenagers, but they really are a blessing.  And remember to pray for the women who are still asking, “Why, oh why can’t I?”

Although it is laughable, it reminds me of how we adults often react to change. We are creatures of habit who do not like to have our routines disrupted. When pushed out of our comfort zones, we tend to kick and scream. We blame God, we blame our circumstances, and we even blame the government. But eventually we learn that change is part of life.

Life is full of growth opportunities and change is required for growth. As John Maxwell said,” If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.” Although our son was initially uncomfortable with the bathing experience, it wasn’t long before he learned to love it. When we allow ourselves to be open to new experiences they can be quite enjoyable and beneficial. 

You probably have some favorite quotes about change. Here are a few of mine:

“Change always comes bearing gifts.”  ~Price Pritchett

“Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history.”  ~Joan Wallach Scott

“Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.”  ~Pauline R. Kezer

“It’s the most unhappy people who most fear change.”  ~Mignon McLaughlin,

“Every single thing changes and is changing always in this world.  Yet with the same light the moon goes on shining.”  ~Saigyo

“Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are.”  ~Bertold Brecht

“The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.”  ~Japanese Proverb

“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.”  ~Confucius

“When you are through changing, you are through.”  ~Bruce Barton

My absolute favorite change quote is: “God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.”  ~Author Unknown

So let’s learn to accept change as an inevitable part of our lives. As people of faith we believe that God will work things out for our good. Psalm 37:23 says, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”

Life is full of changes, let’s embrace them!

String beans provide a number of health benefits including impressive antioxidant capacity. In addition to being healthy, they are tasty and quite easy to cook. I simply get a large pot, a little oil, and some smoked meat, an onion – well, before I give away my “secret” recipe, suffice it to say, I can whip up a tasty pot of beans.  However, one of the things that I like least about string beans is the strings. So before cooking I wash them, trim the ends and remove the strings that run lengthwise down the seam of the pod. It can be a time-consuming process, but it is the only way to ensure that there are no strings. Although some varieties are bred to be stringless, the ones that I run across tend to have strings. And I have found that the older or larger the beans, the more likely they are to have strings. Old string beans have big strings.
 
If you will humor me, I would like to draw a parallel between string beans and human beings.  As a student of human nature, I have noticed that people can have strings too. And the older they are, the more likely they are to have lots of strings (issues) like bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, jealousy, anger. The list can get quite long. If they allow these “strings” to take over their lives, they become quite “unpalatable” to the rest of us. Admittedly, life can be difficult and often deals us blows that leave our heads spinning and hearts broken. I’ve endured a few life-shattering experiences myself. I do not understand why bad things happen to good people, or why certain injustices exist in our world. But I also know that I cannot afford to allow the strings to attach themselves to me and choke the joy out of my life. So just like I go though the time-consuming process of removing strings before I cook string beans, I make a daily effort to remove the strings that can so easily attach themselves to my heart and mind. It is a daily task, but it is well worth the effort. It involves, reading God’s word, meditating on His truth, prayer and maintaining a positive outlook. There are also times when I have needed to reach out to others for help.  My husband, friends, pastors, and counselors have been all been instrumental in helping me “remove the strings” from my life.
 
So I encourage you to take a look at the strings in your life and don’t be afraid to do a little trimming.  You will live a lot freer with no strings attached.

No doubt, you are familiar with this Christmas poem by Clement Moore. I remember my mother reading it to me when I was quite small. I must admit, not every detail of the poem made sense to me. My mother did not sleep in a kerchief, my father did not sleep in a cap and I had no clue what sugarplums were. But it did paint a nice picture of Christmas morning, which for us children was all about the gifts. We would tip into the living room early on Christmas morning and find that it had been transformed into a wonderland of beautifully wrapped packages of all shapes and sizes. We could hardly wait to tear into them to find what was inside.Ah, those packages. Each one was a different size, shape or color. Some had ribbons, others had bows and each one had a name- tag that indicated who it belonged to. Some were very heavy and others were very light – it all depended on the treasure inside.  In no time at all the living room would be transformed from a colorful landscape of beautifully wrapped packages into a toy land – with lots of discarded boxes, wrapping paper and bows. You see, what really mattered to us was not the packages, but what was inside.

Unfortunately, as we’ve grown into adulthood, we’ve forgotten the lesson, “It’s what’s inside that counts”. Our society focuses more on external attributes than internal values. There is an obsession with hair and makeup and beauty products. Television runs countless commercials about weight loss, hair coloring, exercise equipment and diet products. Heaven forbid, that anyone would look overweight or old. Are you kidding me? Who gets to decide what weight is “overweight” or what age is “old”? It is all relative since we are on a lifelong journey. Each of us is older than we were yesterday. I weighed 6.5 pounds when I was born. Now, a few decades later I weigh considerably more. Am I overweight? It’s all relative!

The emphasis on our “external packaging” saddens me because of the damage that it does to people’s self esteem. There have been too many instances of people ruining their health with eating disorders in an attempt to attain an ideal weight or size. I’ve heard of women who died unexpectedly during an elective plastic surgery procedure. Is a little nip/tuck really worth dying for?

Of course we all want to look our best. But too often so much emphasis is placed on external beauty that internal values are overlooked. When was that last time that you saw a commercial promoting honesty or integrity or kindness? Many of the people we consider most beautiful are sorely lacking in character. We would do well to work as hard on the internal values.  We can fool each other by looking good on the outside, but that doesn’t make up for lack of character.

In the 23rd chapter of Matthew, Jesus had some strong words to say to the religious leaders of his day about this.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. (Matthew 23:27). 

Much of the cruelty and discrimination in our world is based on “external packaging”.  How sad, since that packaging will not last. I’ve officiated at many funerals and no matter how good a job the mortician has done, the departed is only a shell of what he or she once was. I normally allow a section in the service for people to come up and share what the person meant to them. I have never heard anyone talk about how long & luxurious their hair was, how their biceps bulged or what a tiny waist they had. The memories tend to be about the relationship or a particular kindness or good deed.  It’s what’s inside that counts.

It is doubtful that Christmas packages can communicate with each other, but if they could, I don’t think they would spend time making fun of each other. They’d realize that each one is unique and holds a very special treasure.

We would do well to remember that each one of us is also unique and holds a very special treasure.  I think that the following poem by Don Rotha sums it up very well.

When you look at me, I’m not what you see,
It’s what’s inside that holds the key.
I may look old, but that’s not bad.
Inside of me, I’m just a lad.
Appearances can cause a start,
But everybody has a heart.
We live, we love, we laugh, we cry.
We store our memories and then we die.
So when you look upon this man,
Try to imagine, if you can,
The love that’s stored within my heart,
Will go with me, when I depart.

It’s what’s inside that counts!

What is tooth decay and when does it occur? It occurs when your teeth are frequently exposed to foods containing carbohydrates such as starches and sugars like soda pop, candy, cake and even sticky fruits. The primary options for treating tooth decay are filling, crown, root canal or extraction. The goal of treatment is to preserve tooth structures and prevent further destruction of the tooth.

If left untreated, tooth decay can have serious consequences. An extreme complication can be an abscess; a collection of infected material resulting from bacterial infection of the center or pulp of the tooth. This infection can spread into the bloodstream and have serious, even fatal consequences.

Decay has become widespread in our society, but it goes far beyond tooth decay. We are surrounded by social decay, cultural decay and moral decay. I am especially concerned with the lack of commitment to facts; truth decay. This poison has infected every area of our society.

We’ve all seen supermarket tabloids that feature stories about aliens landing, 6- headed animals or even stories about celebrities that are completely fabricated. Are these stories true? No, but they sell. Even some of our news programs, in the interest of getting ratings, play fast and loose with the truth. Websites like www.factcheck.org and www.snopes.com have become quite useful tools for determining the validity of stories. Some of the most respected figures in our society; politicians, celebrities, corporate officers and even ministers have been found guilty of misrepresenting the truth. Sadly, accountability and integrity are viewed as optional character traits.

You see, a commitment to truth comes with responsibility. As one sage wrote, “The truth is heavy, therefore few care to carry it.” It is easier to just go with the flow. However, if we choose to do that, we will pay a very heavy price.

Wise men and philosophers have pondered the importance of truth down through the ages. Here are some of their thoughts:

• “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”– John 8: 32
• “As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.” —Josh Billings
• “Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened”– Winston Churchill
• “In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act”–George Orwell
•  “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes”—Mark Twain
•  “The folks who know the truth aren’t talking…. The ones who don’t have a clue, you can’t shut them up!” –Tom Waits
•  “Once your soul has been enlarged by a truth, it can never return to its original size.” –Blaise Pascal

 Each of us has a choice. We can allow the decay to continue or we can make a commitment to upholding truth. What will you do?

Have you ever been hurt, offended, cheated or misused? What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? Unfortunately, life can be rough and anyone who has lived more than a few months has experienced hurt of some kind or another – physical, mental, emotional, racial, religious, sexual, relational… the list goes on and on. If we were seated in a room together we could share stories that would have us all in tears.

So what is the solution? How do we survive life’s inevitable injustices? There is no easy answer, no magic pill to make the hurt go away. Each of us must find the path toward healing in our own way. Here are excerpts from stories of people who have suffered greatly and found ways to begin their healing journeys.

When Bud Welch lost his 23-year-old daughter Julie, he lost the pride of his life, and to this day he cannot say he has forgiven the man who killed her. Still, he refuses to give resentment and despair the upper hand, and tries instead to keep her memory alive by sharing his pride in her with others.

“It was a cold January afternoon, and I stood there watching hundreds of people walking along the chain link fence that surrounded the lot where the Murrah Building had stood. I was thinking about the death penalty, and how I wanted nothing more than to see Timothy McVeigh (and anyone else responsible for the bombing) fried. But I was also beginning to wonder whether I would really feel any better once they were executed. Every time I asked myself that question, I got the same answer: No. Nothing positive would come from it. It wouldn’t bring Julie back. After all, it was hatred and revenge that made me want to see them dead, and those two things were the very reason that Julie and 167 others were dead…”It’s a struggle, but it’s one I need to wage. In any case, forgiving is not something you just wake up one morning and decide to do. You have to work through your anger and your hatred as long as it’s there. You try to live each day a little better than the one before.”

Bill Chadwick of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, makes the distinction between forgiving and excusing quite clearly in writing about the death of his son, Michael. Never tempted simply to excuse the boy responsible for Michael’s death, Bill felt a compelling need to see justice done. In the end, however, he discovered that justice by itself couldn’t bring him the satisfaction and peace he was looking for:

“My twenty-one-year-old son Michael was killed instantly on October 23, 1993, in a car crash. His best friend, who was in the back seat, was also killed. The driver, who had been drinking heavily and was speeding recklessly, received minor injuries he was subsequently charged with two counts of vehicular homicide. Michael had only a trace of alcohol in his system, and his best friend had none.

It was some months later that it hit me: until I could forgive the driver, I would not get the closure I was looking for. Forgiving is different from removing responsibility. The driver was still responsible for Michael’s death, but I had to forgive him before I could let the incident go. No amount of punishment could ever even the score.”

Jesus taught about forgiveness in Mark 11:25 when He said, “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”

Apostle Paul wrote about forgiveness in his letter to the Colossians, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others”(Colossians 3:13).

When we are wronged we only have two choices – to forgive or not to forgive. Often people are reluctant to forgive because they think that it means denying the offense or letting the offender off the hook. But that is not the case. As Alice Duer Miler said, “Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.”

When you forgive, it doesn’t mean that you have dismissed the event, and neither has God. Apostle Paul gave the following advice in his letter to the Romans, “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord” (Romans 12:17-19).

The choice not to forgive carries a heavy price. It is like being locked up in a very small prison cell. The event becomes a ball and chain that you carry wherever you go. Isabelle Holland said, “As long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind”.

We’ve all been hurt, we’ve all been wronged and even when it’s justified, the price of unforgiveness is just too high. I have found that when you hold onto “stuff” it holds onto you.

As Harriet Uts Nelson wrote, “Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.”

Life is too short to drag around excess baggage. It’s not worth being bound, so begin the process of letting go, and make forgiveness a lifestyle.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day, I am reminded of the great lengths that mothers go to in order to nurture and protect their young.  This applies to human mothers, but animals also make extraordinary sacrifices for their offspring. Here are a few examples:

Female octopuses that aspire to be mothers spend roughly 40 days harvesting more than 50,000 eggs. After laying all of these eggs, these octopuses stand close guard, watching out for predators, providing oxygen by blowing water over these eggs, and even sacrificing time hunting for their own meals.

While certainly small in stature at less than an inch long, the female strawberry poison arrow frog literally goes above and beyond when taking on the duties of motherhood. After laying up to five eggs and watching them hatch, the strawberry poison arrow frog carries her tadpoles, one by one on her back, from the rainforest floors up into trees as high as 100 feet. At this point, the mother strawberry poison arrow frog finds individual pools of water in bromeliad leaves for each of her tadpoles, thus setting up mini nurseries that are safe from larger predators.

After giving birth to anywhere from four to six cheetah cubs, mother cheetahs can spend up to two years teaching their kids how to avoid predators and hunt for food. Once the baby cheetahs advance from having no survival instincts to learning how to make it in the wild, the mother cheetahs move on to start the process all over again: get pregnant and raise a handful of new kids.

While mother cheetahs are able to send their kids off in the wild after two years, mama orangutans are not so fortunate, spending up to six to seven years nursing their offspring. A major part of being a mother orangutan involves building new nests high up in the trees, each and every night. In the average lifetime of a mother orangutan, she will build more than 30,000 homes of branches and foliage for her kids.

Although I can tell some pretty good motherhood stories after 21 years of raising a son, I must admit that these girls put me to shame. My story about spending  24 hours in labor kind of pales in comparison. I won’t bore you with my motherhood stories, but I will share some of my favorite motherhood quotes:

“It is not until you become a mother than your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.” – Erma Bombeck

“If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.” ~Robert Brault

“It’s not easy being a mother.  If it were easy, fathers would do it. “ ~From the television show The Golden Girls

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”~Elizabeth Stone

Happy Mother’s Day!!!

“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”
~ Maya Angelou

 “The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.”
~Confucius

“A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.”
~Author Unknown

Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz nicely summed up these quotes about home when she said, “There’s no place like home.” What is a home? Home is a safe place, a comfortable place, and a haven from the outside world. I was blessed to grow up in a warm, loving home. I had an experience at an early age that taught me to appreciate it. My parents, who worked for the same company, were offered positions at a plant in another part of the state. So they began the process of relocating our family from southern to northern California. Part of the process involved them going to find housing. Since I was 5 years old and my brother was only 2 years old, they left us with a family friend for what seemed like forever.

In actuality it was only a couple of weeks. The friend lived in our neighborhood, so I was able to continue going to school. I usually walked to school with some of the older girls, but walked home alone since kindergarten was only half day. During the 2 weeks that my parents were gone, I walked past our house on the way home every day. And every day I tried to open the front door and go inside. In my 5 year-old mind, if I could get inside and sit on the couch, everything would be OK. After all, that was home. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before our family was reunited and living in our new home. Sadly, there are thousands of children in our world who are not so fortunate. Japan It has been estimated that as many as 100,000 children may have been displaced by the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan, and consequently separated from their families. Haiti The 7.0 magnitude earthquake that struck Haiti in January 2010 was followed by twelve aftershocks greater than magnitude 5.0. Buildings of all kinds were damaged or collapsed. Thousands of young children were killed, or permanently injured by this catastrophe. Hurricane Katrina Statistics about the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina are staggering. 121 babies, many premature were evacuated to cities in other parts of the country. Many families were separated as they were taken to different shelters, sometimes in different states. Some of the children were too young to know their names or addresses. We all have seen the heartbreaking pictures and videos taken during these catastrophes.

Many of us have donated food, clothing and other goods. Thousands of medical professionals have volunteered their time and expertise to save lives and help in other much-needed ways. With all of the events occurring all over the globe, it seems like we’re faced with new tragedies almost daily. Although we must continue with our lives, we cannot afford to become callous. We must continue to pray and do what we can to help those who are affected by the tragedies; especially the children. For them home is no longer a reality.

Across America, the numbers of homeless children is growing because of many issues including the recent economic crisis, home foreclosures, and natural disasters. The National Center on Family Homelessness released a report in March 2009 documenting that 1 child in 50 is homeless in America—more than 1.5 million children each year. These groups of children all have one thing in common – they need a safe, comfortable place to live. They need a home. Ask yourself what you can do to touch these young lives. You can begin by loving the children in your own family, your neighborhood, your church family, your world.